birds crying

so, there was a HUGE snow storm in Midd and we had no class on monday!!!
recently it is getting much much warmer. People are wearing summer clothes when the temperature outside is around 0degrees.
Yesterday i heard birds singing for the first time in nearly 5months??but midd is still literally covered with snow.
snow here is very good. super konayuki and its not rare to see diamond dust too. when we walk on the snow, it feels like squashing katakuriko, it makes a sound like, gi-gigi-.

one of the biggest advantage of going to Midd is that it is so easy to talk to professors. They have office hours several times a week and it is opened to everyone.
but my problem is, that I HATE SEEING PROFESSORS!not that the professors are mean, in fact they are super nice..but it is the most intimidating thing ever.But once you get a horrible grade on paper, or cant talk in discussion sessions, there is nothing you can do but go talk to them.
so i did. just now.... nae. that's why i am writing this article in the middle of the day.
when i get nervous, my english level declines to 0. or, maybe it is always 0. just that i can hide it well. it wasnt that she was angry at me or anything, she was giving me goood advice but my eyes started to water.. haha i hope the professor didnt realize...
i get this feeling sometimes, since i was young. i feel something stuck in my throat and it starts to heat up. i broke my pen while i was talking to her by putting to much strenght to it. Is this what we call lack of confidence? or being embarassed? i have to cope with this feeling.
preparation brings confidence. maybe not, maybe only to a certain extent.
one of my goals has yet to be achieved. How can i in the next 2 and a half month?
such a bad student.

i dont want to end in a negative tone..
the presentation for investment class went well. somehow. i dont understand why i can do well on some things and some not. perphaps, my presentation skill IS improving. or maybe that presentation was not about expressing what I FEEL. facts about what i invested in, the reasons, the trend of a market, things like that. my weakness is not about standing in front of the audience but is to analyze thing and express my idea in a confident manner. (nothing new! lol)

advice my professor gave me.
when stating an idea, mention it as "one way of thinking", and not Yuko's idea.
i think i can do this. kore nara dekiru.
wait, does that mean i am afraid of being asked a further question?
or afraid or critisism?